Why The Pressure To Be Perfect Is Ruining Your Life

why-the-pressure-to-be-perfect-is-ruining-your-life

“EVERYTHING has to be perfect!” I yelled at myself in my head.  “I have to have THE PERFECT posts when I launch.  Otherwise NO ONE will like my blog, and NO ONE will EVER read it again.  EVERY word of EVERY sentence of EVERY post has to be JUST right.”

 

Whew.  That was a lot of internal yelling.

 

We put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect.

 

The pressure to get it right the first time.  No room for mistakes.  No room for failure.  We must be the best at all times.

 

NUMBER ONE MOST GUILTY.

Right.

Here.

You can’t see me right now, but I am frantically raising my hand in the air and waving it around.

 

I am the type to agonize over every little detail.  I drag my feet.  I am indecisive.

 

Why?  Because what if I pick wrong?  What if I make a mistake?

 

HEAVEN FORBID.

 

I’m not ready.  It’s not the right time.  I can’t do that.  I’m not good enough.  How many times have you said this to yourself?

 

The Need To Be Perfect Holds You Back

 

As I look back on my life, there are so many things I did not do because perfectionism got in the way.

 

How much did I miss out on because of fear of failure?

Because I was afraid I wouldn’t be the best?

Because I was afraid that I would look silly?

 

    • Try out for the tennis team?  No way!  I would never be as good as those other girls.  I never had any lessons!  I would just embarrass myself, and I wouldn’t make the team anyway.

     

    • Write for the school newspaper?  Well surely, I wouldn’t have anything to write about.  Nobody would want to hear what I had to say anyway.  Plus, I probably wouldn’t be any good.

     

    • Join the swim team? Are you kidding me?  Be in a bathing suit (with my flat chest) swimming in front of parents and peers and racing other people?  YOU MUST BE INSANE.  Recipe for disaster embarrassment right there.  Also, practice was too early.  And I’ve got school work…duh.

     

Sound Familiar?

 

For most of my life (until recent years really), my personal growth has been stunted by perfectionism.  It is a DISEASE I tell you!

 

“A MOTHER LOVING DISEASE!”

 

It wasn’t just the crippling perfectionism.

It was the lack of confidence, not enough self-love, fear of failure, & too much worrying what other people think.

Now THAT is a recipe for disaster.  THAT is a recipe for living a sad and unfulfilled life.

Well guess what I have learned…

 

Failure Is Necessary

 

If you want to suceed, you are probably going to fail A LOT.  Failure is an important part of learning.

The word failure has such a negative connotation.  That needs to change.  Maybe we need a new word for failure.

Change your thinking from “I failed” to “I learned some valuable lessons about what worked and what did not.”

Then apply those lessons moving forward.

 

Fail often.  Fail forward.

 

Stop being so hard on yourself. Everything does NOT have to be perfect.

 

The Secret To Overcoming Perfectionsim

 

So you want to know the big secret, eh?  How do you move past the need to be perfect?

(Fear of Failure, Procrastination, whatever you want to call it?)

 

Start. 

 

That’s it.

YOU JUST HAVE TO GET STARTED ANYWAY.

Put those limiting beliefs out of your head.  Cast aside that doubt.  Change the voice in your head from “What if I can’t?” to “What if I can?”

 

Stop being a dreamer and start being a DOER!

Take action.

Do not give your mind time to talk you out of it.  Your heart and your intuition know what is right.

 

Done Is Better Than Perfect My Friend.

 

We wait.

For the weekend.

For the summer.

For retirement.

For the perfect time.

“When I am ready.”

And pretty soon the opportunity passes us by.

If we’re always waiting for this or for that, we will never do it.

 

We are our own worst enemies.  We think about ourselves way more than anyone else does, and we are more critical of ourselves than anyone else will be.

 

Are you the type to lay awake in bed late at night and agonize over the time when the waiter said, “Enjoy your meal!” and you responded back with, “You too!”?

*Face Palm*

 

That used to be me…agonizing over the little things.  Sometimes it still is.  Stop torturing yourself.

 

 

It’s Time To Let. It. Go.

 

I have so many hopes and dreams for this life, and this blog is one of them. So many of my ideas are pending on me finally taking this leap and just putting it out there. {Even as I sit here and revise this article 28 times…}

 

Perfectionism is something I am going to have to battle my whole life.  I trust that it will become easier the more I push myself.

 

I procrastinated for a long time before finally launching this blog, and it’s because the usual culprit was holding me back.

 

The pressure I have been putting on myself is ridiculous.  I am a beginner.  I have learned a lot, but I still do not know everything right now.

It is OK.  I will get better over time.  I just have to START.

 

To Be Imperfect Is To Be Human

 

To be imperfect is to be relatable. “Hey, you do that weird thing too? Just like me? That’s awesome. Let’s be friends.”

 

It’s not about having the perfect blog…or the perfect life.  It’s about learning and growing as I go.

 

What is worse than failure?

 

Never trying.

 

What is worse than failure?

 

Always wondering, “What if?”

 

There Will Never Be A Perfect Time

You will never be ready.

There is only now.

Do it while you still can.

Start today.

 

For more posts on perfectionism, please put your email in below.

 

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12 Comments

  1. Lynn
    June 13, 2018 / 9:19 pm

    Well said! Everyone feels this way, but few are willing to share. Nice work!

  2. Kelly
    June 13, 2018 / 9:22 pm

    Love this post!!! Guilty of the perfectionism thing too. It’s hard but keep pushing yourself like you’re doing with this blog and it will get easier!!! I know it has for me. Congrats and good luck!!! 🍀

  3. Renee
    June 13, 2018 / 10:30 pm

    Yep, fear of failure is my #1 demon! I said screw it last year, put together a big list of things I want to do, and have started plowing through the list. The time to live life is NOW. 🙂

  4. Matthew
    June 13, 2018 / 11:59 pm

    This is dope! Keep it up!!!

  5. Hernan
    June 14, 2018 / 6:45 am

    This was an incredible read and it reading this was definitley the best way to start my morning!

  6. Jill
    June 14, 2018 / 9:45 am

    I really enjoyed reading this. Keep it coming…

  7. Jill
    June 14, 2018 / 9:46 am

    I really enjoyed reading this, Alyssa. This is true on so many different levels. Keep them coming…

  8. Kelley Castone
    June 14, 2018 / 11:38 am

    This is awesome and I am guilty of it too! Great blog by the way!

  9. Kelley
    June 14, 2018 / 11:41 am

    Great blog! I am guilty of this also.

  10. Dave
    June 14, 2018 / 4:12 pm

    WOW!
    I’m so proud of you!
    Fantastic START to your blog and MORE.
    You’ve started down a path that took me 40 years plus to find.
    Others never find the trailhead.
    I’m happy knowing you’ll be dropping crumbs along the path so that we can follow.
    Congrats and press on young lady,
    few will become many that follow.

  11. Monique
    June 15, 2018 / 11:25 pm

    So amazing!!! Girl, I am so very proud of you! I think we all can relate to this article. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your heart. We need to catch up soon! Love ya my friend. 💜

  12. Mary
    June 16, 2018 / 10:21 pm

    That’s my girl! So proud of you!

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