This Too Shall Pass

To the person who is struggling right now with something or with many things in your life…

 

 

This too shall pass.

 

I have been struggling lately to accept God’s timing in many areas of my life…

 

…even though I DO believe that God’s timing is perfect.

 

My grandma always used to say, “If the Lord brings you to it, he’ll bring you through it.”

 

But sometimes, it’s just so hard to be patient. It’s hard to see the silver lining. It’s hard to understand the reason.

 

 

 

I have had a lot of “Why me?” and “Why this?” moments and a lot of changes over the past few years.

 

 

First, I was displaced from my position teaching 8th grade math…a school and grade level and subject (8th grade math) that I loved.

 

Through no fault of my own, I had to pack up my classroom, say goodbye to working with my friends, and start somewhere new.

 

I was so mad. And sad. For so many reasons. And for a long time, all I could focus on was the many times I had been screwed over that led to this moment. (And there were a lot of them.)

 

Including the fact that another displaced teacher (with no 8th grade math experience) took the middle school math job that was available that I wanted. (When you are displaced, you have to go to a meeting and pick from a list of available positions at other schools.)

 

She was able to take that position just because she had more seniority.

 

The fact that I helped to build the curriculum, write the assessments, attend the week long OVERNIGHT training, and testimonials from all of the students who I had helped with math along the way…meant nothing.

 

I was jaded.

 

I went to see the new school where I’d be teaching 5th grade…starting over with new families and new students. It was hard.

 

I had built a positive reputation for myself at the middle school. {Not everyone is going to like you.} I had families who knew me, and I had looked forward to having siblings of former students in my classes.

 

I was overwhelmed and devastated. The thought of moving from middle school world to elementary world was terrifying. I came home, and I cried.

 

 

Not long after I got home that Monday in June, my dad got a call that his former apprentice and friend had committed suicide on Father’s Day (the day before). You can read more about that here.

 

 

That stopped me cold and helped me put my self pity into perspective.

 

 

So, I started at a new school with new colleagues and new teaching partners and new students and new families…and…

 

 

That year ended up being one of my favorite years of teaching EVER. My students were so special and fun.

 

My new colleagues welcomed me with open arms. They made me feel like I belonged right away, which is something I had not experienced before.

 

I met some truly wonderful students, parents, and staff. I still keep in touch with so many of them. They invite me out for drinks, and they invite me to the Christmas party every year. So many of them sent me cards and texts and emails when my grandma passed away, and Lori Dane still sent me Swedish Fish for the first day of school for the past two years in a row now.

 

It took me a little while, but now I see the reason (actually multiple reasons) for why it had to happen.

 

 

I kind of look at it like God moving the chess pieces around. I see two friends of mine who were able to have babies (who had previously struggled for years). If the chess pieces had been moved around differently (aka me getting the 8th grade math job I wanted at a different middle school), maybe the outcome would have been different. It would have been like a domino effect with those friends ending up in different positions too. Maybe they would not have been able to get out of their stressful work situations. Maybe they wouldn’t have had those babies.

 

We will never know for sure…but I have a suspicion.

 

It gives me some peace and comfort.

 

I know that the Lord works in mysterious ways. My grandma always used to say that too.

 

 

I spent one year at that new school…and I didn’t get too comfortable because then I was displaced AGAIN.

 

 

I had to pack up my classroom AGAIN. Move schools AGAIN. New principal, new families, new colleagues, new grade level…

 

It wasn’t easy…AGAIN.

 

This transition was not as smooth (for many reasons). It was a very tough year.

 

For whatever reason though, God keeps redirecting me.

 

 

 

This year, I am teaching the Virtual Academy FOR THE WHOLE YEAR.

 

It won’t be easy…AGAIN.

 

 

This year, we are all displaced. This year, God is redirecting all of us.

 

 

It’s not going to be easy or fair, but I do think that there may be many blessings in this…if we only take the time to try to see them.

 

 

I do believe that the struggle makes us stronger. It will make us better people and better teachers.

 

We have a choice about the mindset we take as we approach the monumental task before us this fall.

 

Teaching a classroom full of kids is a skill that is learned.

Teaching online is just a new skill to master too.

 

And we can do it.

 

We are doing things that haven’t been done before. We all have learning to do. It won’t be perfect.

 

And that’s ok.

 

 

This too shall pass.

 

 

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