Love In The Time Of Corona

You guys know I’m always thinking about love.

 

I talk about it all the time.

 

I ask questions about it all the time.

 

I seem to have Instagram polls about it all the time.

 

So naturally, I can’t help but think about Love in the Time of Corona. (Let me know if you know where I got the title inspo from!)

 

At first, I was only thinking about romantic love…you know like dating and new relationships and such.

 

What is going to happen with THAT now that coronavirus has us locked down in a holding pattern?

 

But then I started thinking about ALL of the different types of love going on around us during this time, and I was inspired to write this post.

 

 

This lock down/shelter-in-place/social distancing/self-quarantine stuff is kind of like one big social experiment that hasn’t been done before (well in my lifetime anyway), and I’m here for it.

 

Will the coronavirus change the way we love?

Will good triumph over evil?

Does love always win?

How will love persist and prevail through all of this isolation and fear and panic?

 

 

Romantic Love In The Time of Corona

 

Some would say, “This is the worst time to be single!”

 

But maybe it’s actually the best.

 

 

Hear me out on this.

 

This is the best time for new relationships. It is the best time to start “talking to someone” or to start talking to someone a little more seriously than you have been. Most of us have someone that we’re interested in (whether we want to admit it or not). You’ve been thinking of that person this whole time already. If you do already have someone in mind, START TALKING.

 

My principal had us do this little activity as a staff to get to know each other better, but really it was designed to get people to fall in love. If you’re drawing a blank on how to get to know this person, then you can start here…

 

 

Go down the list of questions and repeat three times 🙂

 

Tell me three things I don’t know about you

Tell me what you like about me

Tell me something we have in common

 

 

If you don’t have someone who you’re already interested in, then I guess this is the perfect time to cue the dating apps (although once real life resumes you need to delete them and get back out into the real world). Read Dicksand.

 

Since you can ONLY talk, you will have to get to know each other on a deeper emotional level before anything physical can EVER happen, and in a world that might be too casual about sex, that’s pretty awesome!

 

You can’t hug or kiss or even see them face to face (although there is FaceTime technology for that if you choose to use it).

 

You have the opportunity to develop an intense emotional connection with someone without the pressures of getting physical! It’s such a unique and interesting opportunity!

 

 

Quick Question:  Are the producers of Love Is Blind writing the script for March 2020?!?! Haha

 

Just wondering…

 

 

These next two stories about Romantic Love During Corona are the stuff movies are made of…seriously.

 

 

New Love ~ “Open Season on Crazy”

You know the classic airport scene from the movies?

The one where the girl is boarding the plane…

And the boy shows up just in time to stop her and to profess his undying love?

 

Well, this story is kinda like that except boy DOES NOT make it to the airport in time to profess his undying love.

Girl gets on plane. Girl sobs on plane. Nice stewardess brings her lots of napkins.

Girl watches Notting Hill on plane and sobs even harder.

I think that makes it all a little more real life though.

 

 

Our story begins in Edinburgh, Scotland.

(This place is pure magic. If you haven’t been, then you really need to go. This is a city straight out of medieval times. J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter here, and it isn’t hard to see why. Her inspiration for Diagon Alley came from walking these streets.)

 

Our leading lady is a wholesome American girl from good ole’ North Carolina. Her dad is a musician, and she’s been singing in the church choir her whole life.

She has the voice of an angel, and she’s already promised to sing at my wedding someday 🙂

Our gal moved to Edinburgh to pursue a master’s degree in MSc Interpreting, and naturally she had to find a church with a choir she liked and wanted to join.

 

Cue our leading man.

He’s an pretty prominent organist with his own Wikipedia page (so his name has been left out of this post to respect his privacy).

He is from England (*swoons over his accent*), but he moved to Edinburgh to take over as the new director of music at this church.

 

Now after every choir practice and service, everyone goes out to the pub (as one does in Scotland).

Our leading man is a little bit shy and uncomfortable with the full group at first.

So Allie, being the bright ray of sunshine that she is, makes an extra effort to chat with him and get to know him.

 

Now it’s August 2019, and our leading lady is set to depart Edinburgh. She’s headed to Spain for an internship.

There is a large choir party at his estate in the Scottish countryside (*swoons again*).

Everyone has had a fair amount of whiskey. Allie and our Englishman are sitting together on the couch chatting and laughing. She tells him that when she comes back to Scotland for her graduation in December she wants him to hear her sing solo. He tells her that he would be honored and that she needs to come back and visit Edinburgh during her internship.

 

The next day, our lady leaves. (No, this is not the dramatic plane exit…yet.)

She sailed on the Queen Mary II from England to Spain. (Like, what is her life? Seriously…)

 

So she goes to Spain for her internship, and they barely talk.

 

I know you’re probably like, “Wait? They aren’t in love yet?!?! WTF?”

 

Wait for it…

 

In December, she heads back to Edinburgh to graduate from her program.

They spend some time together that week…dinners and drinks and such.

Allie was actually part of TWO separate choirs. On her last night, she had drinks scheduled with both.

She texts our Englishman to make sure he is still at the pub before she heads over for drinks round two.

Alas, he has gone home.

 

Then comes the flurry of texts.

“Wait, I didn’t know you were coming…Should I go back to the pub? Can I see you tomorrow before your flight?”

There may or may not have been a dramatic crying scene in the pub bathroom where a random girl holds Allie’s hand and tells her it’s going to be ok…

 

*Cue the dramatic plane exit*

 

Over the next few weeks, things were a little awkward.

Our dynamic duo starts talking more and more.

Our Englishman is 10 years her senior, and she had never considered a romantic relationship with him before.

 

 

He eventually let’s it slip that he loves her. He tries to backpedal, but then says, “Fuck it. I’ve known since August.”

 

She does not return the “I love you” yet.

 

They continue to talk. The texts eventually turn into phone calls.

 

He would ask, “Do you love me yet?”

 

The day before Valentine’s Day, she knew. She was ready. It was also his birthday. She wanted to tell him, but he had already gone to sleep. (That time difference is tough you guys.)

 

So she told him on Valentine’s Day…by accident. The “I love you” slips out, and then the phone cuts out!

 

He calls her back, and now she’s not sure if he even heard her.

 

“What a time for the phone to cut out! Did you just say that? Say it again.” *Big Sigh*

 

Our leading lady has plans to return to Europe for another internship from April – June, BUT while this love story is unfolding, so is the coronavirus.

 

Just as our love birds are ready to hop on a plane, the world shuts down. They CANNOT see each other (since professing their love for one another), and they don’t even know when they’ll be able to see each other again. They’re separated by an ocean and a pandemic. They’re in love, and they haven’t even kissed yet.

 

Just take a minute to imagine THAT explosion of passion when they do finally get to see each other in person.

 

WHEW!

 

(*Swoons again*)

 

I told you this is the stuff movies are made of. It sounds like I completely made this story up, but I swear it is true!

 

“It’s a love story,

Baby just say,

Yes…”

 

Allie and I met on the group travel trip I took to Italy in May. I don’t know anyone who can meet Allie and NOT immediately love her. It’s just not possible. She has the most infectious personality. She is freaking hilarious, and she’s always smiling and laughing. She is one of my favorite people.

 

I call rights to this movie script. Seriously.

 

My favorite part of all this is that they were friends first and because of the timing and the distance, they have grown this crazy intense emotional bond WITHOUT anything physical yet. I just cannot wait for the day that they are finally reunited. I cannot wait to see how this all plays out. I also cannot wait to attend their wedding in the UK 😉

 

 

A New Marriage ~ “You Can’t Fence Time & You Can’t Stop Love”

Have you thought about all of the people who were supposed to get married this month? Next month? In May?

So much is up in the air right now.

All of the time and planning that goes into a wedding…having to cancel or postpone would be devastating.

 

One of the teachers I work with was supposed to get married.

 

So now what? Do they wait?

 

Nope.

 

These two crazy kids COULD NOT WAIT to start their lives together. They got married in a “short, sweet, and private ceremony” and live-streamed it. They are planning a vow affirmation and reception later in the year (hopefully this spring still).

 

I just think that is the most beautiful example of true love triumphing over this virus.

 

Again…not making this up!

 

Congratulations and best wishes you two!

 

 

Lost Love

Something that no one is really talking about during this time, but it has been on my mind…

 

Funerals

 

I have seen several people post on Facebook about loved ones who have passed during this time (not from corona, but from other things). My heart goes out to them double during this time. They can’t even have a proper funeral to mourn. Funerals are not for the dead. They are for the living, and now these people cannot even have that proper closure to say goodbye. That makes me so sad.

 

My heart goes out to you guys. I am sorry for your loss, and I am sorry that this is happening.

 

 

What About Old(er) Love?

On the other side of this, we will have couples breaking up.

Do we think there will be a spike in divorces when we are all finally allowed to emerge?

I think yes.

 

Allie and I had this conversation when she was filling me in on all the juicy details of her long distance love affair.

I had a kind of epiphany about this as we were talking. Like, it was there the whole time in my mind, but I finally put the words together in the right order.

 

Why do people stay in unhappy marriages?

It comes down to psychology, I believe.

Humans are driven by pleasure and pain…with pain often being the biggest driving force.

People are very reluctant to change their lives unless they hit some kind of “rock bottom” moment. The pain threshold.

We will keep going in the same direction (even if it’s a painful direction) because we perceive the pain of change to be greater than the pain we are currently in.

We stay because we believe that change will hurt more than the status quo.

We have to get to the point where the pain of staying the same EXCEEDS the perceived pain of change.

This is the rock bottom moment. (If you’re tricky with your brain, you can engineer a “rock bottom” moment in order to motivate yourself to change, but now we’re getting into personal development stuff.)

Why do people cheat? Or do the other things they do?

Because they are subconsciously manufacturing their own rock bottom moment (without consciously knowing it).

Self-sabotage.

They have the rock bottom moment which forces the change.

 

 

The coronavirus quarantine is going to be a trying time for many relationships, but it will also be the kindling for others.

How do people act under pressure and stress and fear? How do you handle those times together? How well do you communicate? It’s going to be pretty revealing for a lot of people.

Will spouses who have grown apart be able to come back together during this time or will this time be the tipping point in ending the relationship?

Will you realize that you’ve just been maintaining a status quo out of fear of change (pain)?

 

 

 

ALSO HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THAT HANNAH B AND TYLER C ARE QUARANTINING TOGETHER IN FLORIDA, AND I AM SO EXCITED AT THE POSSIBILITY OF THIS REUNION!!!!

 

 

 

PSA: DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX. DO NOT GET BACK TOGETHER WITH YOU EX. JUST DON’T DO IT (UNLESS YOU ARE HANNAH B AND TYLER C.)

 

 

 

Self-Love In The Time of Corona

 

This quarantine is the perfect time for self-love too. If you have read my stuff before, then maybe you already know a little about my thoughts on this topic.

 

A common misconception is that self-love is, “TREAT YO SELF!”

 

I actually think that is the opposite of self-love. Sure, there is definitely a time and a place for that mentality.

 

BUT

 

True self-love is making the hard choices to take care of yourself and do what’s best. It’s tapping into your higher self and saying, you know what? That’s not good for me in the long run. I’m not going to engage in that behavior because it’s not good for future me. I love myself, so I am going to refrain.

 

This is the time to figure out who you are.

 

Warning: Personal Development is uncomfortable. If it feels uncomfortable, then you’re probably doing it right.

 

Get enough sleep.

Drink lots of water and tea.

Take your vitamins.

Do your full skin care routine.

Take a relaxing bath.

Read personal development books.

Ask yourself the tough questions about who you are and what is important.

Evaluate your priorities.

 

I think many of us are going to find that our typical excuse, “I just don’t have time…” isn’t going to cut it anymore.

We all (a lot of us) do have the time now. So if you’re still not doing the *thing* ask yourself, “Why not?”

You can come out a different person on the other end of this…only if you want to.

 

Or you can sit around binge drinking and eating and not exercising and not doing any of the *things* and be exactly the same.

 

It’s uncomfortable to change, but it’s also uncomfortable to never test your potential either. It’s uncomfortable to never try.

 

 

Some of my favorite personal development books to get you started:

Daring Greatly

Mindset

You Are A Badass

 

 

Love For The Lord

 

The irony that this is all happening during the season of Lent has not been lost on me.

Jesus sacrificed and suffered temptation for 40 days and 40 nights in the desert, and I think it’s really interesting that we’re all being asked to do the same right now.

Every year during Lent, Christians fast and we give things up. This year takes it to a whole other level.

I hope that during this time of need, people do turn back to the Lord. I hope they turn back to prayer.

 

 

Loving Each Other In The Time of Corona

 

I saved the best for last you guys. This is my favorite section of this post, and I teared up while writing it.

 

I see families coming together and spending much needed time together. I hope there are game nights and dinners where everyone sits at the table together. I hope there is lots of talking and laughter and healing and fun.

 

Friendships. In the past week alone, I have talked to SO MANY FRIENDS. College friends, travel friends, old co-workers, etc. Many of these people are people I have not connected with in a long time, and it feels SO GOOD. It’s interesting that it takes such drastic measures to get one to realize the importance of these interactions. When we can have them at any time, we inevitably start to take them for granted.

 

Random people at the grocery store: Before Michigan went into full lock down mode, I ran up to the fruit market to quickly grab a few fruits and veggies. It was not crazy busy, but everyone was SO NICE. “You only have a few items. You go ahead.” “No you go ahead.”

 

I have seen so many examples of people being good neighbors in general. Writing encouraging messages on the sidewalks, doing shopping for older relatives or acquaintances, volunteering to pass out meals to families in need…

 

Mr. Rogers always said that in times of disaster or tragedy, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

 

I gathered up some examples of people helping and being kind during this time (and my heart feels so full).

When all is said and done, I hope that this is the stuff we remember.

 

 

 

 

 

Katie is a travel RN. She has been donating blood (along with her husband Cam). She has this message to pass along. “…with all the blood drives and events being closed and the median age of donors being 65 and people over the age of 60 being advised to stay home, there is a massive hospital shortage of blood right now. If you are healthy and your city allows, you can go to your local blood bank and make an appointment to donate.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can read more about the 518 Rainbow Hunt HERE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And last but not least…

 

Ford, 3M, & GE are all teaming up to shift production to build ventilators!!!

 

 

 

 

 

It turns out that you don’t have to look very far or very hard to find love all around.

 

 

My hope is that we’re all going to come out of this experiencing a great healing…families, neighbors, friends, nations, and the world.

This shared tragedy (I hope) will bring us all together like the world hasn’t experienced before.

I hope that things don’t return to “normal” and that we create a new normal.

Maybe it will only last for a generation…until the next big worldwide tragedy, but I hope it lasts a lot longer than that!

As scary as things are right now, I have great hope for the future.

 

 

When all is said and done, let’s not forget to keep showing the love and appreciation…

To our doctors and nurses and all healthcare workers

To our grocery store workers

To our truck drivers

To everyone…

 

Let’s not forget about or take for granted what is important again.

 

 

Parting Thoughts

Opening yourself up to love is scary…because every action has an equal but opposite reaction.

 

The greater the love, the deeper the loss.

 

The grief one feels is in direct proportion to the love.

 

So many people hold back on love because they’re afraid of the inevitable pain.

 

But you can never “max” out on love.

 

Holding back on love equates to a life half lived in the end.

 

 

 

A friend of a friend just lost her husband. Not from coronavirus, but from cancer, I believe. He was around the same age as me (30ish). In the midst of all this crazy pandemic stuff, I saw her post on Facebook.

 

What struck me as so profound and life changing really, were the remarks that her husband wanted her to share with the world.

 

“What I am most proud of in my life is my relationship with my wife, […].”

 

 

 

Because when you strip away all that other stuff, love is the only thing we’ve got.

 

That’s the power of the human connection.

 

 

In the end, the only question that will matter is, “How deeply did you love?”

 

 

 

 

 

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